PRACTICAL, BIBLICAL GUIDANCE FOR FAMILIES - 1


RAISING GREAT KIDS


TEN STUPID THINGS PARENTS GET CONNED INTO BELIEVING :

1 - All kids rebel. So if mine are wild and disrespectful, it's to be expected.
2 - My kids are my second shot at childhood, and this time we're doing it MY WAY!
3 - My spouse and kids need my money more than me.
4 - They should do as I say - not as I do.
5 - It's important that my children are happy and entertained at all times.
6 - Children should never be spanked or sharply disciplined.
7 - Right and wrong depend on the situation. Like who we're trying to impress at the time. Or what we have to do to get what we want.
8 - I don't want to impose my values on my kids. It could stifle their creativity.
9 - Focusing on God is dangerous, since we don't have all the answers about Him anyway. My kids should make up their own god in their own head. Besides, if they come across as too religious, it's embarrassing.
10 - (Fill in your own.)

13 KEY CONCEPTS -

(To get the most out of each, look up the bible verses and think about them.)

TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY

(Matt 18:1-6)

The Privelege

They're Real People

Count the Cost

Children need protection and supervision, but they are nevertheless viable people, with the same God-given value as you. Don't mess.

KNOW WHO YOU ARE

(Phil 3:17, Josh 24:15)

A child & servant of God

A loving spouse

The leader of the home

Parents who are insecure can't think straight. See yourself in God's purpose, not someone elses', and rest in that.

TEACH & TRAIN

(Deut 6:4-9, Prov 22:6)

Spiritual

Academic

Life Skills

It's up to you, not society, to raise your kids. You may "farm out" some duties (like teaching math), but the overall project is yours.

MANAGE OR DICTATE?

(1 Tim 3:4-5)

The Benevolent Dictator

The Coach

The Guidance Counselor

See center column. In a way, you'll be all three. You'll be the BD when they're young, but as they grow you transition to the coach and the GC.

PROVIDE SENSIBLY

(1 Tim 5:8, Phil 4:19, Prov 17:16)

Mazlov's Pyramid

Cultural Provision

Working For It

First provide for physiological needs, then security, then belongingness and love, then opportunity to relate and serve.

REAL COMMUNICATION

(Prov 16:21)

Know your message

Consider their perspective

Relate / Teach / Motivate(Sell)

Some parental speeches are little more than self-validation. Real communication values both parties.

DIFFERENCES

(Rom 12:5-6, Gen 37:3)

Personality Temperment

Physical Abilities

God's gifts and calling

Recognize and accept who they are and aren't. 4 Temperments: Commander, cheerleader, detailed artisan, or organizing peacekeeper.

RAISING REBELS

(Eph 6:1-4)

Rebellion

Provocation

Victory

If you vex your kids spirits by assigning them responsibility without capability, they will rebel. If you're fair, they may still rebel, but it won't be because of you.

STANDARDS & CONVICTIONS

(2 Tim 3:16,7, Rom 14:4,15)

Source of Standards

Source of Convictions

Grace

You will have "hang-ups" over right and wrong. Examine yours in the light of scripture. Differentiate between essential and preferential.

AUTHORITY

(1 Thes 5:12-13, Rom 13:1-6)

Jurisdiction

Submission

Testimony

Within appropriate realms, we must all submit to authority. Set the right example as a leader and a follower.

DISCIPLINE

(Heb 12:6-13, Prov 13:24, 19:18)

Clarity Consistency

Consequences

Compassion

The 4 C's tell it all. An undisciplined person accomplishes very little in life. Discipline is a GIFT you must give your children.

ACTIVITIES

(Prov 20:11, Psalm 46:10)

Entertainment

Boredom

Ministry

According to their tendencies, help them develop creative expression in sports, the arts and service. Don't let entertainment absorb all of the "boring" time that could have led to creativity.

DO IT WITH LOVE

(Gal 5:22)

God Through You

Jesus' Model

Your Decision

Your love of God (and your accountability to Him), and your love of your children, most both come ahead of selfishness.

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