PRACTICAL, BIBLICAL GUIDANCE FOR FAMILIES - 1

TEN STUPID THINGS PARENTS GET CONNED INTO BELIEVING :

1 - All kids rebel. So if mine are wild and disrespectful, it's to be expected.
2 - My kids are my second shot at childhood, and this time we're doing it MY WAY!
3 - My spouse and kids need my money more than me.
4 - They should do as I say - not as I do.
5 - It's important that my children are happy and entertained at all times.
6 - Children should never be spanked or sharply disciplined.
7 - Right and wrong depend on the situation. Like who we're trying to impress at the time. Or what we have to do to get what we want.
8 - I don't want to impose my values on my kids. It could stifle their creativity.
9 - Focusing on God is dangerous, since we don't have all the answers about Him anyway. My kids should make up their own god in their own head. Besides, if they come across as too religious, it's embarrassing.
10 - (Fill in your own.)

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TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY (Matt 18:1-6)	The Privelege They're Real People Count the Cost	Children need protection and supervision, but they are nevertheless viable people, with the same God-given value as you. Don't mess.
KNOW WHO YOU ARE (Phil 3:17, Josh 24:15)	A child & servant of God A loving spouse The leader of the home	Parents who are insecure can't think straight. See yourself in God's purpose, not someone elses', and rest in that.
TEACH & TRAIN (Deut 6:4-9, Prov 22:6)	Spiritual Academic Life Skills	It's up to you, not society, to raise your kids. You may "farm out" some duties (like teaching math), but the overall project is yours.
MANAGE OR DICTATE? (1 Tim 3:4-5)	The Benevolent Dictator The Coach The Guidance Counselor	See center column. In a way, you'll be all three. You'll be the BD when they're young, but as they grow you transition to the coach and the GC.
PROVIDE SENSIBLY (1 Tim 5:8, Phil 4:19, Prov 17:16)	Mazlov's Pyramid Cultural Provision Working For It	First provide for physiological needs, then security, then belongingness and love, then opportunity to relate and serve.
REAL COMMUNICATION (Prov 16:21)	Know your message Consider their perspective Relate / Teach / Motivate(Sell)	Some parental speeches are little more than self-validation. Real communication values both parties.
DIFFERENCES (Rom 12:5-6, Gen 37:3)	Personality Temperment Physical Abilities God's gifts and calling	Recognize and accept who they are and aren't. 4 Temperments: Commander, cheerleader, detailed artisan, or organizing peacekeeper.
RAISING REBELS (Eph 6:1-4)	Rebellion Provocation Victory	If you vex your kids spirits by assigning them responsibility without capability, they will rebel. If you're fair, they may still rebel, but it won't be because of you.
STANDARDS & CONVICTIONS (2 Tim 3:16,7, Rom 14:4,15)	Source of Standards Source of Convictions Grace	You will have "hang-ups" over right and wrong. Examine yours in the light of scripture. Differentiate between essential and preferential.
AUTHORITY (1 Thes 5:12-13, Rom 13:1-6)	Jurisdiction Submission Testimony	Within appropriate realms, we must all submit to authority. Set the right example as a leader and a follower.
DISCIPLINE (Heb 12:6-13, Prov 13:24, 19:18)	Clarity Consistency Consequences Compassion	The 4 C's tell it all. An undisciplined person accomplishes very little in life. Discipline is a GIFT you must give your children.
ACTIVITIES (Prov 20:11, Psalm 46:10)	Entertainment Boredom Ministry	According to their tendencies, help them develop creative expression in sports, the arts and service. Don't let entertainment absorb all of the "boring" time that could have led to creativity.
DO IT WITH LOVE (Gal 5:22)	God Through You Jesus' Model Your Decision	Your love of God (and your accountability to Him), and your love of your children, most both come ahead of selfishness.

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