PRACTICAL BIBLICAL GUIDANCE


HIS & HERS

(Six things that men need from women / Six things that women need from men)

0.) Intro - Prov 30:18-19 (The unchartable course)
Ground Rules - References / Generalities / Eph 4:29-32 / Scorecards


1.) Historical
a.) Blessings of the Sexes - Gen. 1:27, 1:31, 2:20-25.
b.) Battle of the Sexes - Gen. 3:16
c.) Reunion of the Sexes - Eph 5:18-21

2.) Our goal: Understand & Apply (1 Pet 3:7 or Prov 16:25)

3.) 7 General Differences:

a.) Men need to ACHIEVE, Women need to BELONG..
b.) Women are more SENSITIVE, and must express their FEELINGS. In response, men want to Solve/Rescue.,
c.) Men see their JOBS as extensions of themselves. Women see their FAMILIES as extensions of themselves.
d.) Men are more GOAL oriented, women are more MEET-THE-NEED oriented.
e.) Men are more FOCUSED in their thinking (and therefore hard to interrupt). Women are more INTUITIVE.
f.) Women tend to require (and give) more ASSURANCE/COMPFORT..
g.) Men are more PHYSICAL, women are more RELATIONAL.


THE KEY TO HER HEART -

"Love Her Rightly"

Eph 5:25-29, Colos 3:19, Matt 20:28.
A.) Sacrificially (Eph 5:25)
B.) Encourage Development (Eph 5:27)

C.) Protect & Care For (Eph 5:26, 28-29)

(Further elaboration: CLICK HERE)

THE KEY TO HIS HEART -

"Stand By Your Man"

Eph 5:33, 1 Pet 3:6.

A.) Crown Him (Prov 12:4,1Thes 2:19-20,Prov 16:24 B.) Support, not compete (Prov 21:9,19, 31:10-12)
C.) Respond Physically (SS 7:10-12)

(Further elaboration: CLICK HERE)

They did a study on why marriages fail. The study revealed issues #2-6 in each column below:

HER TOP 6 NEEDS

1.) A Spiritual Leader (Josh 24:15)
2.) Affection
3.) Conversation (Eph 4:29, Prov 16:21)
4.) Honesty & Openness (Matt 5:37)
5.) Financial Support (1 Tim 5:8)

6.) A Family-First partner (Deut 6:6-9)

HIS TOP 6 NEEDS

1.) A prayer-warrior partner (Eph 6:18)
2.) A Good sex partner (1 Cor 7: 4-5)

3.) A recreational companion (Gen 2:18)
4.) Attractiveness (Gen 24:16, 29:17)
5.) A peaceful home (Prov 31:27)
6.) Admiration


CONCLUSIONS -
1.) The Irresistible Man - Loves her right and meets her six most important needs.
2.) The Irresistible Woman - Loves him right and meets his six most important needs.
3.) The Spirit-Filled Relationship - God will enable you, through His spirit, to be irresistable!


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FURTHER ELABORATION -

The Key to Her Heart:

1.) Colosians 3:16 - Love vs. being bitter
(Bitter = exasperated, frustrated, angry, harboring resentment)
2.) Personal questions:
Guys - What has limited your love for her, causing bitterness?
Girls - Have you accidentally blocked his love?
3.) 1 Peter 3:7 (again) - Love in an understanding way!
4.) Ephesians 5: 25-29 LOVE HER RIGHT!
a.) Sacrificially (vs 25), saying NO to self (Matt 20:28, Phil ch2)
This shows her she's of great VALUE.. Precious. Special. A prize.
Practical Way:_____________________________________________
b.) Glorified (vs 27), ie developing fully.
Encourage & enable her to grow spiritually, socially, in talents, ministries, etc.
Edify (build up) (vs 26)
Practical Way:______________________________________________
c.) Nourish & Cherish (vs 28) ie provide for, protect, & care for.
Be responsible concerning work, stewardship. (Don't charge toys when in debt.)
Security! Lock up. Be sure her car is safe. Create a safe, peaceful atmosphere.
5.) Women - What does your husband do to LOVE YOU RIGHTLY?
To make you feel of great worth,
To make you feel of great potential.
To make you feel safe & secure.



The Key to His Heart
1.) Ephesians 5:33 - Respect
Admiration, esteem, co-operation, support, honor, value, recognize achievements
2.) Failure: Man's Fear
This world is quick to condemn 2nd place.
3.) Sources: Man's mirror: His WORK, and his WOMAN.
A man's self respect is often her respect for him, reborn in him.
4.) Phases of a Man's Life (Untold secrets)
a.) Childhood: Early: Are you tough? Teenhood: Are you cool?
b.) Early adult (20-40) Launch Life (Spouse, career, family)
(a time of dreams, discovery, stress, excitement.)
c.) Mid-life "crisis"(40-45) Evaluation of success & identity. Changes?
d.) Mid-life adulthood: (45-60) character is known.
(New energy burst, or persistence, or retreat.)
e.) Later-adulthood: (60+) Relinquish responsibility, retire?, choose final goals.
5.) STAND BY YOUR MAN
a.) Prov 12:4 - Be his "Crown", (not his scar)
Be his "pride & joy", his "trophy", not his heckler. (Believers were Pauls crown)
Practical ways:______________________________________(Prov 16:24)
How do women sometimes shame their husbands?__________________
b.) Prov 31:10-12 - Support
Vs. compete & needle. Prov 21:9, 19.
Practical ways:__________________________________________________
c.) SS 7:10-12 - Respond Physically

6.) Conclusions:
A woman Brightens her man's life by admiration & esteem.
A woman Stable-izes her man's life by support.
A woman Energizes her man's life by physical response.
COL. 3:23-24 If you can't do it for him, do it for Jesus, & watch what happens!

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